There's been a strange pattern emerging at the end of 2010 and it's carrying on into the new year. Twice now I've taken home a girl. She sleeps next to me, but there was no sex. It's an odd thing, but in both cases the girl was just exhausted and fell asleep in seconds. Of course, there's always something important going on the next day and they had to get up and leave.
The first occasion was a textbook one-night stand minus the sex. She was traveling through and wanted to see the city and get some sleep. We drank, hung out with a friend, then she and I curled up on my couch to watch a movie. One second she's talking and the next I ask her a question and get no response whatsoever. The following morning she's talking about how we almost had sex, but that she was asleep before she knew it. Then she hopped in her car, headed for Tennessee and that was the last I saw her.
It was very much like having a craving for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. You open the refrigerator and realize that you loaned the only jar of jelly you had to the neighbor last week and it never came back. The peanut butter sandwich is okay, but that craving is still there. If I were this nice all the time I would be starving and never get laid at all.
The second occasion was even crazier. Deserving of an entry into the pages of Murphy's Law.
The Iskanoff Principle: If a guy brings home 2 women and doesn't have sex with the first one, then nobody is having sex.
I was invited into the lion's den of get-togethers. It was an all-u-can-drink we-hate-men party of five. Sixth wheel may not be a real term, but it feels right. The table was just big enough for 5 chairs. There were nasty stares from some and others refused eye contact all together. Thankfully, I had at least 2 fans that were willing to not kill me on the spot for having a penis.
The first was the girl who had invited me in the first place, Jasmine. I knew her from a birthday party sometime back, but hadn't really seen her since. Still, she was easy to pick out of the crowd and I'll probably always picture her the way I saw her that night. Dark red lipstick emphasized her wide smile, a sparkle in her eyes that gives the impression of a happy soul, and smooth, white cleavage framed with a low-cut black sleeveless top. A very classy girl, always happy and energetic, ready for fun. The sweet perfume that she was wearing that night lingered lightly on my blanket causing me to have erotic dreams for better than a week.
The second was a new face with alluring eyes and a mischieviously cute smile. Let's call her Little Spoon. I Didn't know her very well at the time, but she was the one who was gonna break this no-sex habit. My savior, so to speak, but not until later. The fates had this night planned out quite a bit differently. It was like that of a good mystery novel where you really don't know what's gonna happen until you get to the very last page.
Both girls lived out of town and it was really starting to get late. We stopped by my place to use the restroom and almost stayed there for the night, but it was decided that food was to be had first. I don't remember quite when the topic had come up, but at some point one girl looked at the other and said "We should take him home." It's something that most guys never hear and only a select few have the opportunity to actually go home with them both. I wasn't sure if she was just joking or if it was the alcohol talking, but I had to try hard not to get my hopes up. They were incredibly hot and I really wanted to sleep with both of them, preferably together.
After a trip to IHOP the idea of the three of us together came up again, but they were getting tired and had thought of just driving home to their respective houses. However, since I was the most sober I was the one driving and made sure that everyone ended up back at my house for the evening. After they had decided to stay they mentioned pajamas, which I hadn't expected. I only had one pair so they took them and both went to the bathroom to get changed. When they came back out I had to try very hard not to smile or show how turned on I was. Jasmine came out wearing a shirt and black underwear and Little Spoon had on my pajamas because she wasn't wearing any underwear that night.
But to my dismay they were soon talking of how tired they both were. Little Spoon had quickly decided that the bed was to be hers for the night and Jasmine wanted to fall asleep on the couch while watching a movie. It was at this point that I realized that there was no real chance of a threesome. Actually there was very little chance of anything happening. If Jasmine and I were to start having sex on the couch Little Spoon would certainly hear us in the next room. Yep, the rest of the night was sure to be one moral decision after another. Little Spoon disappeared into the bedroom and Jasmine and I layed down on the couch with her in front and my arm wrapped around her. I remember whispering something in her ear as I kissed the back of her shoulder and touched her smooth legs. I traced a line over the sexy curve of her hip and moved my hand up to cup her breast and that was when I realized that she was already asleep.
This was quickly turning into a repeat of the last time, but what was I to do? I did enjoy the company, but before too long the movie was over, my arm was asleep and I was overheating. I decided to get up and reevaluate the situation. I got some water out of the fridge and went to the bathroom. When I got back to the living room I noticed that Jasmine had stretched out and taken up the whole couch. In truth, I have yet to see a couch that was intended for two people to sleep comfortably on it at the same time, but now what?
I peered into the bedroom and saw Little Spoon curled up facing the wall. The blankets made an outline that was a little hazy in the dark, but you could tell that they were pulled up close around her. I wasn't about to wake her up and start a fight between her and Jasmine about changing girls in the middle of the night, but the list of places I could lay down were becoming very limited and the length of the evening was starting to weigh on me.
I couldn't decide if I should snuggle up to her and had finally decided to give her her space. I determined that I rest for a few hours then wake Jasmine up with some kisses and heavy petting.
Next thing I know the bed is shifting and Little Spoon is walking through the kitchen to the bathroom. I open my eyes enough to realize that the sun is coming up and I missed my chance. They were getting ready to go home. I really hate being a nice guy sometimes.
(Continue with Part 2)
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