This story is actually about the exception to that theory however. Two girls with the same first name are both etched in my mind forever. I had sex with both of them and neither one remembered a thing the next day. In the long run I suppose that the first event kinda led to the second one, but both situations, no matter how eventful, are completely opposite.
The first event started the evening of my roommate's birthday party. Yeah, my old roommate. I'd probably would've forgotten about him by now if it wasn't for this. Let's call him "D". That's a capital "d". Not like God where the "g" is always capitalized, but he certainly thought that there was a significant likeness. His best friend from college or where ever, Lonnie, came to visit and brought along his wife, Liz. My roommate's girlfriend was there too and for a short period of time other people he knew stopped by long enough to drink a beer or two. Nothing fancy, nothing out of the ordinary except the Vanilla Vodka. Let me just get that right out of the way. Vanilla Vodka makes people do crazy things. Things that you would never expect. Things that you have to be explained to you the next day because you don't remember them.
I worked nights at the time and typically slept in late in the afternoon. I remember waking up in my bed with the sounds of women laughing and giggling. I thought for a second that I had died in my sleep and someone had opted for the "full pardon" for good behavior, but as I began to regain consciousness I realized that it was neither. I decided to strut down the hall in my boxers on my way to the bathroom to investigate. It was D's girlfriend Shaylynn and someone I had never met. A fiery red-headed gal with porcelain white skin and cute little orange freckles painted lightly on her arms and face.
By the time I exited the bathroom they were gone. For a second I thought that I was having one of those weird dreams where you're in a Salvador Dali painting urinating in the lake where the swans used to reflect elephants on the surface. The ones where you wake up and have to pee like you've been drinking Corona out of a beer bong for the last 5 hours. After getting dressed I found D in the kitchen and he filled me in on the plans for that evening. Party. Here. 7:30. Shaylynn, Lonnie and Liz went to go get alcohol.
I didn't drink at the time, so I decided to opt for some Taco Bell for the time being. By time I got back the drinks had already been poured. I don't really remember a whole lot of what happened next or what happened in what order, but I remember that Liz and I made an instant connection. She was a teacher with a good sense of humor. We made each other laugh a lot and her and Shaylynn got along really well.
After a few more drinks they started to get along quite a bit better. Before I knew it Liz and Shay were making out in the living room. Then they would laugh and giggle a little more and go outside to smoke a cigarette. As they were coming back in Liz looks over at me and comments on how bored I look. Then she runs over and pulls her shirt over my head so she can rub her tits in my face. Nice, firm, round titties that fit in the palm of your hand and cute little nipples that would just melt in your mouth.
Now would be a good time to mention Lonnie's line of work. Lonnie happens to be a 6"3' 268lb Marine. I wasn't prepared for today to be my last day on earth so I decided to not get too carried away and she and Shay skipped to the kitchen to make some more drinks. Afterwards Lonnie seemed okay with what he had seen, even brought up simple conversation.
We decided to watch a movie and Liz sat on the floor in front of Shay and played footsie with me while Shay fondled her. I honestly wasn't very interested in the movie. Matter of fact I'd seen it and it was "okay" at best. At one part another of D's friends stopped by with his wife and another woman. He sat in the chair, his wife on the couch and the other woman, on his lap. He was very drunk and was openly fondling the woman in his lap. His wife had to have noticed, only sitting 2ft away, but simply didn't care. I felt like I was witnessing something totally bizarre. This sort of stuff never happens, but there he was, passed out with a hand down this woman's shirt. His wife even commented on how he was asleep. Those 3 went home when the movie ended, but I was still in awe. There was no arguing, no explanations requested or provided. It was like nothing happened.
Meanwhile Liz and Shay decided to keep the entertainment going and were getting pretty handsy with each other on the floor. They had started to surpass the "I'm just doing this to tease my boyfriend" phase and had clearly started to forget that they were being watched. D broke their concentration when he got up to go to the bathroom though and they all decided that it was, once again, time for a smoke.
I stayed on the couch and reflected at all I had seen so far. All the alcohol that they had bought earlier today was already gone. It was past 2am so all the bars would already be closed. Soon they will either start to sober up or go to sleep. Maybe I should just go to my room and listen to some music or something. I'm still pretty tired from the work week.
The front door opened and Liz came running in, her breasts bouncing under her shirt. I noticed that her pants were undone. She grabbed my hand and jerked me up off the couch and down the hall to D's bedroom. She pushed me down to sit on the bed and plopped down next to me, almost falling off the edge. I was trying to figure out what to do when I noticed D walk in, followed by Shay, followed by Lonnie. When someone from the Army goes crazy and kills somebody they always just say a "man" killed somebody, but when it's a Marine, they always say a "Marine" killed somebody. Reasons may include: rage, honor, jealousy, etc... See: Threatening his family, stealing from him, sleeping with his wife.
While all these thoughts were going through my head Liz had decided to help Shay undress and vice versa. I was about to get up when Liz, now topless, decided that she wanted to suck on my tongue. She hopped up on my lap and pushed me down on the bed. I couldn't even remember the last time I made out with a girl let alone a hot one like Liz. It occured to me that this probably wouldn't be the worst way to die so I decided to just go for it. I teased her tongue with mine and finally got to grab those nice breasts that she had tempted me with earlier.
To my surprise Lonnie actually helped Liz out of her jeans and began to tease her from behind. Liz took off my glasses and they vanished behind her, but I could tell that D and Shay were having a good time too. Shay and I had always gotten along and I will never forget the next part. It was the only full sentence spoken for the next 30 minutes or so. She pointed right at me and said: "You've got more clothes on than the rest of us." Thanks, Shay. You've always had my back.
Liz took that as an open invitation as she ripped my shirt of and began tugging off my jeans. Before I knew it I was getting a world class blow job before she climbed back on top of me. It was, without a doubt, the best part of the night. I got a blow job, I was getting laid and her husband wasn't interested in killing me at this point.
We decided to roll over and she kissed me hard and ran her hands down my back. I kissed her neck and she gasped a little as she scratched me with her fingernails, then clawed at my back with another gasp. At first I thought she was having an orgasm, but she started to panic a little.
"Let her up!" D yelled. At this point she was clawing herself right off the bed and I tried to keep from letting her fall on her head while I rolled off her. She was making a strange motion with her right hand, her thumb pushing an invisible object towards her middle and pointer finger. The international sign for "injection". I didn't get much of a chance to reason it all out in my mind when she leapt up and ran out of the room. I heard the door to the bathroom slam and Lonnie ran after her.
I'm sure I had one of those dumb "what the fuck?" faces on. Like what Hunter S. Thompson should've had when he woke up in the hotel room filled with water; a microphone taped to his face and tape recorder taped to his chest, wearing the bottom part of some lizard costume with a long thick rubbery tail and three-toed rubber lizard boots. It's in the movie.
After a few minutes of talking through the door, Liz finally let Lonnie in and he got things settled down. Then he came back and explained to us what had happened. Turns out Liz has bad Asthma and all the excitement of the evening had provoked it. Normally when she has an attack like this she takes a shot that helps open her lungs back in, but she forgot it at home which was out of town. We all decided to retreat to our separate rooms and relax. Lonnie and Liz had the pull out couch in the living room.
I don't know how long I stared at the ceiling above my bed reflecting on the night, but next thing I knew the sun was creeping in through the windows and I could hear stirring in the other rooms. I was dying of thirst and got up and walked through the living room to the kitchen and back. As I noticed the two blurry images on either side of the couch I realized that I never got my glasses back, but more importantly, was just happy that Liz was still alive and conscious.
Next thing I knew I awoke in my bed again. D was knocking on my door. It cracked open and he tossed my glasses in to me.
"Thanks man." I called back and went back to bed. Later I was told that Liz was very disappointed in me for not averting my eyes when they were getting dressed that morning when I was getting a glass of water and her husband had to explain on the drive home what had happened the night before.
