Whenever you start an intimate relationship with someone, at least one with a lot of sex involved, you tend to start to branch out. Try new things, new positions, sometimes with new people in addition to the current ones. The first night you have her in a missionary position and next thing you know she wants to use her 10 speed Jack Rabbit vibrator on you because of some "eye for an eye" rule. These are the types of things I like to avoid. If you're already having this conversation then it's too late. If every time she licks your balls she moves a bit lower, it's too late. As a matter of fact, if you've already put your thumb up her butt while riding her doggy style don't bother sleeping at her place. Get out while you can. Otherwise you may find yourself stuck in a week long sex deprived conversation about "what can go where".
In this case, though, it was nothing like that. This was purely about compatibility. Basically Snow Bunny and I have about the same amount of experience when it comes to sex. It's a very important thing to know about your partner. I always try to ask the same stuff because of past relationships: Do you have Asthma? Are there a lot of heart problems in your family? Have you ever worn a strap-on to fuck another woman in the ass? Lesbians are only cool until you find out you dated the "Man" of the relationship.
Also, It's always important to make sure that you don't start off with anything too kinky unless you know each other pretty well. That's how we ended up at the peanut butter blow job conversation. For the record I have to say that this is definitely better than the "What can go where" conversation, and a lot shorter, so I must be doing something right.
There are also some caveats when you start doing crazier things in crazier places. For example, when your girlfriend almost bites the head off your dick while waiting for food to be delivered at a Sonic drive in you learn that no matter how baggy your jeans are they will always rub against the sore spot as you walk. In her defense the carhop snuck up on both of us.
It's at this point that you have to really start getting creative. It starts to change the way you look at things. I rarely have any tooth pain, but I always keep a vial of Anbesol in my medicine cabinet specifically for bite marks and braces. Tiger balm will sooth sore leg muscles when you cramp up in the car while cumming in a girl's mouth driving down the highway. Also, I now make sure that I always have one of those mini Maglites close by. The ones that take AA batteries are just the right size. Longer than a finger, but not so big as that they look at your dick and choose the flashlight instead. They're perfect for raising the kink level for those "elusive orgasm" girls.
It used to be that before I would go out for a night of drinking I would listen to some up-beat rock song from Disturbed, Drowning Pool or the like, but now it's more like "Back Door Man" by The Doors or "Little Red Riding Hood" by Sam the Sham and The Pharoes.
Overall, I think it pays to see things differently from time to time. You never know when you will be at the hardware store and see a girl buying a mini Maglite without any batteries and before you know it, your weekend is booked.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Motivated and twisted
Every time I'm in a room with motivational pictures I have to check them out. At least scan over them.
The thought of "What would you really do if you could get away with it?" has been in my mind for several years. It's the classic Invisible Man story. If I was truly invisible I would hang out at the Playboy mansion and porn sets. I would stay in college dorms and watch some slutty coed finger herself every night. But, even without the invisibility this is a very dangerous concept. What if you are just very convincing and good at multitasking? What if you are really good at making things happen the way you want them to? What if you were able to balance having a wife and a girlfriend at the same time without either of them knowing about the other? That's where my moral compass starts spinning in circles like a top.
I don't feel like I'm necessarily good at, or even have what it takes, to balance a wife and a girlfriend, but I do feel like I have exceptionally good luck. I have been able to balance two girls at once and I loved it, but I have never been able to decide if it is something that I SHOULD do. In one hand, there really isn't anything that says I can't have two girls at once, but it was never mentioned that I could either. On the other hand, I shouldn't pass up a perfectly good opportunity. I know that they wouldn't be happy if they found out about each other, but right now they are both elated and joyful.
One instance in particular comes to mind. I was dating this girl who was incredibly smart and insightful, but wasn't very social. I could tell that I made her very happy. I was once very anti-social and I remember what it was like to finally have someone. It's the best thing in the world. You gain so much confidence overnight it's unbelievable. I got her out of the house more often and she was able to realize that she had a lot to contribute to society; that many people were interested in what she had to say. I got her to come out of her shell so everyone else could see what I saw in her. I loved to hang out with her because she was able to teach me things and we could talk about complex ideas with ease.
Unfortunately, though I'm one step away from being a sex addict and we weren't on the same level in that respect. So I found another girl to fill that gap. She wanted sex all the time because all she had ever had was bad sex. Believe it or not, the kind of sex that they have in pornos is not good sex, it just looks good on camera. Sex, in my opinion, is the only thing I'm good at. It's the only thing in my life that I've been told multiple times I'm good at, so I did what I could for her. After a while of 'getting to know each other', she didn't feel like she needed sex 10 times a day anymore. Just good sex every other day. She turned off her webcam and started to learn things on her computer that didn't have anything to do with lining up another guy for a weekend fling.
After a while, the smart girl and I broke up on good terms. We had fun, but the relationship just wasn't going anywhere. Since then though, she has kept her confidence and has been talking to other guys in situations that she previously would've passed up. The other girl was Snow Bunny. We still have fun on a regular basis and she is still learning about computers
I'm not going to say that things always turn out for the better, or that there are no downsides to the things that I've done, but all these posters speak of action; of believing in yourself and trying things even if you don't know if you'll succeed.
My current theme, though, is "What you want and what you need are two different things." I want Avril Lavigne, a modern day Marilyn Monroe and both the girls from Tatu in my own personal harem, but I need a girl who is not too pretty or too rich so that she knows what it is like to struggle and not have things handed to her at every turn. I would have to say that this is definitely the biggest reason I'm happier with two girls at once. My ideal girl is a contradiction in and of herself. There's a better chance of a horse growing a horn or wings.
"How many of these would get me into trouble?" I think to myself.
The first one is OPPORTUNITY: "Don't wait for extraordinary opportunities." It says. "Seize common occasions and make them great." All I can think of is that the girl giving the tour is really hot. She has an ass that you could bounce quarters off of. Fifteen minutes in a closet with her at the end of the tour would make this a great occasion. One to write about. Definitely.
Their poster shows a basketball on the floor of a gym. Not too far from the basket, just waiting to be thrown. Mine, I think, would be a little different. Something you would see in the changing room of a strip club next to the mirrors. OPPORTUNITY: "If they aren't horny, make them horny!" In the picture there would be a screenshot from some Yahoo messenger clone with two conversations going on at once. One is with his wife. She says that she is going to be out of town this weekend. The other is with a girl from work saying that she wants to hang out sometime. The reply to the girl has yet to be sent, but says "How about Saturday?"
The next one is DARE TO DREAM: "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams!" It has the standard crescent moon and stars just behind a spindly looking tree. Again, mine would look a lot different. There's actually a poster from Demotivational.com that is not too far off the mark. It shows a guy playing his xbox naked while this hot, also naked girl, is bouncing up and down in his lap. Personally, I would give up the xbox for another girl or two but I think it's close enough.
I follow the tour guide out of the room and I notice another poster out in the hall. I peel my eyes away from the ass she's hiding under her beige miniskirt long enough to read TEAMWORK: "Work together towards a common vision!" A bunch of dudes in a boat is the last thing I want to see, so I picture another girl helping me with the tour guide in the closet. Then I will help the tour guide with getting the other girl off. Seems like a fair trade to me.
Even with these wall-to-wall posters I can't help but think that there are some very important ones that are missing. They aren't necessarily motivational, but they're still integral slogans for my day-to-day decisions.
The thought of "What would you really do if you could get away with it?" has been in my mind for several years. It's the classic Invisible Man story. If I was truly invisible I would hang out at the Playboy mansion and porn sets. I would stay in college dorms and watch some slutty coed finger herself every night. But, even without the invisibility this is a very dangerous concept. What if you are just very convincing and good at multitasking? What if you are really good at making things happen the way you want them to? What if you were able to balance having a wife and a girlfriend at the same time without either of them knowing about the other? That's where my moral compass starts spinning in circles like a top.
I don't feel like I'm necessarily good at, or even have what it takes, to balance a wife and a girlfriend, but I do feel like I have exceptionally good luck. I have been able to balance two girls at once and I loved it, but I have never been able to decide if it is something that I SHOULD do. In one hand, there really isn't anything that says I can't have two girls at once, but it was never mentioned that I could either. On the other hand, I shouldn't pass up a perfectly good opportunity. I know that they wouldn't be happy if they found out about each other, but right now they are both elated and joyful.
One instance in particular comes to mind. I was dating this girl who was incredibly smart and insightful, but wasn't very social. I could tell that I made her very happy. I was once very anti-social and I remember what it was like to finally have someone. It's the best thing in the world. You gain so much confidence overnight it's unbelievable. I got her out of the house more often and she was able to realize that she had a lot to contribute to society; that many people were interested in what she had to say. I got her to come out of her shell so everyone else could see what I saw in her. I loved to hang out with her because she was able to teach me things and we could talk about complex ideas with ease.
Unfortunately, though I'm one step away from being a sex addict and we weren't on the same level in that respect. So I found another girl to fill that gap. She wanted sex all the time because all she had ever had was bad sex. Believe it or not, the kind of sex that they have in pornos is not good sex, it just looks good on camera. Sex, in my opinion, is the only thing I'm good at. It's the only thing in my life that I've been told multiple times I'm good at, so I did what I could for her. After a while of 'getting to know each other', she didn't feel like she needed sex 10 times a day anymore. Just good sex every other day. She turned off her webcam and started to learn things on her computer that didn't have anything to do with lining up another guy for a weekend fling.
After a while, the smart girl and I broke up on good terms. We had fun, but the relationship just wasn't going anywhere. Since then though, she has kept her confidence and has been talking to other guys in situations that she previously would've passed up. The other girl was Snow Bunny. We still have fun on a regular basis and she is still learning about computers
I'm not going to say that things always turn out for the better, or that there are no downsides to the things that I've done, but all these posters speak of action; of believing in yourself and trying things even if you don't know if you'll succeed.
My current theme, though, is "What you want and what you need are two different things." I want Avril Lavigne, a modern day Marilyn Monroe and both the girls from Tatu in my own personal harem, but I need a girl who is not too pretty or too rich so that she knows what it is like to struggle and not have things handed to her at every turn. I would have to say that this is definitely the biggest reason I'm happier with two girls at once. My ideal girl is a contradiction in and of herself. There's a better chance of a horse growing a horn or wings.
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